I wish I had a picture of him before telling the stories, I will try to sneak one tomorrow before this is sent out.
When it is time to leave work, Siddharth always says "I will take care of it" and very quickly calls downstairs for Abhiminyu (my driver-- it took me a week to be able to remember his name.) Abhi comes upstairs to my office to carry my roller bag down many flights of stairs.
One day Siddharth was busy, Abhi was 15 minutes late, and I HAD to get out of there, lots of yelling (around the office, not by or at me) that day, so I called down to the security guard and asked if Abhiminyu was there. He said yes, right here, I said can he please come up now? like what the hell is he waiting for?
Moments later, he comes up looking very angry. Brushes past me to get my bag, no talking, no smiling or greeting, walks down the stairs in seething silence, a bit of a toss of my bag into the car, slam of the door. Drove in silence to the hotel (30 minutes, that's a lot of silence). Barely a goodbye and kind of zooms away. Not the usual, lets just say.
That night I asked a hotel guy-- is it wrong for a woman to call for a driver? Should it be only a man that calls for a driver, for a woman? and he said yes, its very humiliating for a man to be 'sent for' by a woman, its not the way its done.
Next morning, very cold silent treatment. Oh geez, so now I've really put my foot in it. First thing, I go in to Siddharth to tell him what happened and that I was really sorry if I offended Abhi and made him mad and that I will not call him myself anymore. Siddharth says how do you know he was angry? I explain all the little things that made me see he was upset. He pushes his buzzer and his tall "man/valet/gopher" appears immediately "GET RAJ IN HERE RIGHT NOW" Siddharth yells-- Raj comes running, he is in charge of the drivers, and in Hindi, Siddharth tells him about Abhi acting angry, slamming the door, 'throwing' my bag, not speaking to me-- really exaggerates, starts yelling and lots of gesticulating and mentions nothing about why-- I pipe in -it was my fault! I said, and I add -- Raj, its just because of me calling him, I didn't know it was not the custom! don't get mad at him, tell him I am sorry please.
Siddharth said Marni it does not matter if he is angry or not, he should never behave this way or show these emotions to an honored guest and actually he should not even speak to you when driving. I said yes but I think I offended him just when we felt like friends, and now all the guards and hangers-on downstairs have heard that I did this and it shames him. Please call him with my apology, (as he cannot grasp enough English to understand my specific and deeply felt, complicated apology about etiquette.)
That night I get in the car and ask if Raj called him today. YES he says, "He was very angry yelling at me" "Raj told me that you complained that I slam the door, throw the luggage, and other things." "Why did you say that?" "Do you want a different driver?"
Aggh! Now he thinks this rich white bitch is ratting me out, and messing with my JOB, making me look bad, because Raj even threatened him with losing his job, etc.
So I attempted to muddle through my apology right then, telling him I'm sorry, I won't tell Raj anything anymore, it just snowballs from me to Siddharth to Raj, each time getting worse sounding and misinterpreted, I said look at me, do I look angry? I'm not and I did not "complain" about you, I thought I made you mad, that's all. "We are okay, no problem, I will not say anything else to Raj, (motioning the zipped lip)" Abhi adds, "Hindi word for complaint is 'Sikhayaht'". Yikes. I mean he could just punch me in the head if he was so full of rage. Yeah he would get fired, but he would be glad to get the satisfaction of beating me very badly, punishing me for shaming him.
Now, lets go to the wine store okay? Teek-hey (ok) he replies. The first place we stop I say "You just go because you can get the Indian price, I only get the white prices. "White wine!! OK Abhi? Medium quality price, Just like last time!!" He darts expertly across between cows trucks bikes carts motorcycles to get across one of these maniacal streets and takes forever, 15 minutes, and comes back.
Now the situation is back to normal and we are friends again. Whew. I couldnt take 10 more days of angry silent treatment.
Lets see what 'delicate' rules of etiquette I break next, while people and animals are suffering and dying in poverty in dirt huts, it remains SOOOO important that I act correctly toward a MAN!? Unbelievable.
 |
| Got the photo- Abhiminyu |
When it is time to leave work, Siddharth always says "I will take care of it" and very quickly calls downstairs for Abhiminyu (my driver-- it took me a week to be able to remember his name.) Abhi comes upstairs to my office to carry my roller bag down many flights of stairs.
One day Siddharth was busy, Abhi was 15 minutes late, and I HAD to get out of there, lots of yelling (around the office, not by or at me) that day, so I called down to the security guard and asked if Abhiminyu was there. He said yes, right here, I said can he please come up now? like what the hell is he waiting for?
(there is a lot of text in this post so I will break it up with pictures of mud and garbage)
 |
| Monday- notice background man with no shoes |
Moments later, he comes up looking very angry. Brushes past me to get my bag, no talking, no smiling or greeting, walks down the stairs in seething silence, a bit of a toss of my bag into the car, slam of the door. Drove in silence to the hotel (30 minutes, that's a lot of silence). Barely a goodbye and kind of zooms away. Not the usual, lets just say.
Next morning, very cold silent treatment. Oh geez, so now I've really put my foot in it. First thing, I go in to Siddharth to tell him what happened and that I was really sorry if I offended Abhi and made him mad and that I will not call him myself anymore. Siddharth says how do you know he was angry? I explain all the little things that made me see he was upset. He pushes his buzzer and his tall "man/valet/gopher" appears immediately "GET RAJ IN HERE RIGHT NOW" Siddharth yells-- Raj comes running, he is in charge of the drivers, and in Hindi, Siddharth tells him about Abhi acting angry, slamming the door, 'throwing' my bag, not speaking to me-- really exaggerates, starts yelling and lots of gesticulating and mentions nothing about why-- I pipe in -it was my fault! I said, and I add -- Raj, its just because of me calling him, I didn't know it was not the custom! don't get mad at him, tell him I am sorry please.
 |
| Tuesday |
That night I get in the car and ask if Raj called him today. YES he says, "He was very angry yelling at me" "Raj told me that you complained that I slam the door, throw the luggage, and other things." "Why did you say that?" "Do you want a different driver?"
Aggh! Now he thinks this rich white bitch is ratting me out, and messing with my JOB, making me look bad, because Raj even threatened him with losing his job, etc.
 |
| Wednesday |
Now, lets go to the wine store okay? Teek-hey (ok) he replies. The first place we stop I say "You just go because you can get the Indian price, I only get the white prices. "White wine!! OK Abhi? Medium quality price, Just like last time!!" He darts expertly across between cows trucks bikes carts motorcycles to get across one of these maniacal streets and takes forever, 15 minutes, and comes back.
 |
| Thursday |
Through the newspaper wrap, I can already see its not wine --one square-ish liquor bottle, and one tall thin bottle-- not wine shaped. He says look, excellent price! You like it? and I open in exasperation, "Abhi, this is not wine, its vodka. Let me see the other one. "This is also vodka" come on Abhiminyu-- you were with me when we bought wine-- red for you, white for me, remember? why would you buy vodka?
 |
| Friday |
"Very sorry miss, very sorry, I am totally useless" Yeah right, you scheister, you shnorrer. Hold on a minute! That was a pretty sophisticated use of English compared to his usual mutterings....
Am I getting cheated and fleeced even by my own protector/driver now? Payback? I believe he knew what he was doing, that I would not demand he return it, that I would give it to him as a gift and buy more that was actually wine. This was not a "mistake". (Listen the two bottles totalled $13US so I'm not THAT upset but its the question of --was it on purpose)
The next store we saw was called "English Wine Shop" so I figured "hey this is great now I can even choose from a good selection" This time I go with Abhi, and we ask for white wine through the metal bars and honestly they sold the same crap that every other store sold, no special focus on wine. To be fair, the dude first handed us vodka, then Johnny Walker, and I had to point way in the back where I could see a dusty "Sula" label which was what I bought before. And whatdyknow-- white price of 870Rs for one bottle. 18 bucks for a wine that would be $10 in the U.S.
 |
| Indian white wine |
Lets see what 'delicate' rules of etiquette I break next, while people and animals are suffering and dying in poverty in dirt huts, it remains SOOOO important that I act correctly toward a MAN!? Unbelievable.
No comments:
Post a Comment